Blind truth or life??

I agree everyone has the freedom to believe in whatever truth they want to believe. But have you stopped and asked yourself if that truth is serving you in taking your life forward or is that truth being a barrier for you? If past experiences are the basis for the present truth that you believe, then how is it ever possible to create a whole new future for yourself? Experiences from the past should always and only be the basis for new questions. And always the treasure should be in the question, not in the answer. 

And the question would be “What do you think?”. And look at the present circumstance and ask if the truth from the past experience helps you overcome the present issue or would it aggravate it. If it helps then follow that. But if it is aggravating and creating new complications, then relook and discard the truth and talk to someone to discover new truths. 

To just share an instance from my life, when I had to decide on divorcing, which I didn’t want to and held on to the relationship for 5 years, my truth from the past that didn’t allow to set him free was that “Divorce is bad. And that means I’ll be looked down upon by the society”. And after 5 years I woke up to this truth and saw that truth was not serving me in my present situation. My spouse didn’t want me in his life and it just didn’t work to pursue him. It took away my peace of mind and I was not living too. Then I had to bring in a new truth in place which I did with support from my counsellor. I discovered a new truth that “if I love someone, the best gift I can give is freedom”. That set me free too. 

That gave me a solution and a new future to live into. So you have an opportunity to experience a new life and new living and a new yourself.  

Have fun in living 😃 and discovering new truths.

Learn to let go

I have not come across a human being who doesn’t have regrets and resentments. They are just there in our environment and we are passing them on to our children just like we are passing on pollution. Would you  want your child to loose out on a wonderful future just because of this resentments and regrets that you are harbouring? If you are wondering, does your resentment have so much power to kill your child’s future, the answer is YES. 

I’ve seen many children impacted so badly by the resentment and regrets of their parents. And the child expresses anguish and helplessness and doesn’t know how they are responsible. They have ended up blaming themselves for their parents resentments and so stop believing in themselves. And a child who doesn’t believe in self doesn’t get to create a happy future. Do you want to leave such a legacy for your children?

So my dear friends, let’s learn to let go of our resentments and regrets of our life. Be it a dream that you couldn’t fulfil, or a shameful experience or someone molested or a angry parent or being beaten or not being cared for or any unwanted experience of your life. Let go such that we can give our children a healthy environment to nurture their dreams. 

Write down all your regrets and resentments and acknowledge them with love and release them, giving them a loving cremation by burning them. 

Let’s make this world a healthy place to grow and evolve.

Free to be free

Every year this day, we automatically celebrate Independence Day. The day that we got freedom from the British whom we see as foreign people. And collectively we call ourselves Indians. Right? And a Gandhi, a Bhagat Singh or a Subhash Chandra Bose stood to get that freedom. And today we are living on the fruits of that freedom. However, to think of it, do we really have freedom? As a country, or as a family or as an individual?

Freedom of expression, freedom to be happy, freedom to be sad, freedom to love, freedom to share, freedom from fear, freedom to choose, freedom to listen, etc., Think on a personal level. Do you have the above without being stopped by the conditioning you’ve gone through? Can you think of fulfilling your dreams without bothering how the society will think of it? Will you give freedom to your child without thinking about pleasing your relatives or neighbourhood? Would you freely shout out your frustration in the middle of your college get-together without being  gripped by the chains of shame or need to look good?

As per dictionary, Freedom is ‘the state of not being held prisoner or controlled by somebody else’. But aren’t we all controlled by the standards of how we should or shouldn’t be dictated by the coconut or culture or how others think?

So If we can’t be free to do the above, we haven’t attained freedom. Freedom from the need to please others, freedom from past sufferings and embarrassments, freedom to love your spouse without doubting, freedom to allow your children to fly without fear, freedom to trust your friends and freedom to have compassion for all fellow humans on the streets.

So this Independence Day, let’s work on to practice ‘Free to be and Free to act’ and create freedom in and around ourselves. Let’s discover the world of freedom together 😃

Our resistance to life

We humans have a weird but a beautiful mechanism called the brain which through its neural network forms the mind that we experience. We have fixed ways of thinking due to the fixed neural pathways that are formed. And to change that needs extra effort and practice (conscious) which goes against the existing pathway. Hence the resistance.

But resistance takes away more energy and wastes time. If we need to grow, then we need to let go of the resistance and learn to live with changes (uncertain) that happen in and around us.

So when a loved one leaves, more than they leaving, what hurts is the unsaid communications we had between us. The promises that were broken leave us incomplete and not wanting to trust again.

Or when the behaviour of your child changes, what bothers more is not the change, but the need for you to change yourself to deal with your child effectively.

So change shows our own insufficiency which we don’t like to see. Until we can’t be at home with our imperfections, we can’t stop resisting. And that delays our growth in life. Choice is yours. 

Point of View

I’ve been knowing this since a decade. But knowing this has made not much of a difference. It just added to the knowledge I know.

It was only when I started to respect my parents views and opinions that I started to see this. And listening to and considering others view doesn’t mean that we need to agree or do as that. It only means that their view is also valid as much as ours. Now, I can respect my parents and my near ones views and learn from that. That’s expanded my understanding of life.

Even my partner who’s left without closure may be right. I can now have compassion for him. Maybe he sees me as a threat to his already created life? It’s not very easy to consider this. But really ave me freedom and peace of mind when I could start to see it from his point of view.

So start to listen and consider others views also as valid.

Enjoy the long weekend listening to your loved ones. 😃🙏

Silent observation

Since Last week I’ve been practising observing my thoughts, feelings and my body sensation. And I’m observing how much of my anger I’ve been harbouring about others in the name of ‘I should accept others as they are and not judge them’. So even though I observe my judgement and I feel angry, I’ll discount that and make it wrong. I’ll say to myself ‘it’s wrong to judge and be angry, so let’s accept’. Now I’m observing that, this is leaving me more angry inside. And I also have a heavy burning feeling in my chest.

So since a week, I’m acknowledging these judgements and the associated anger without saying to myself that it’s wrong. Just the way it is. And being ok to have those judgements. In fact I’m saying ‘Hi’ to that judgement 😃. And saying that I’m sorry for not noticing u properly till now. And I feel free.

Don’t you also feel sad or upset when you are not noticed and acknowledged? And you’ll do more of what you are doing to somehow be noticed. Right? That’s how our so called negative emotions are also. So learn to notice and say Hi to them without any hard feelings.

An observing day to you 🙏😊

Love to suffer

I saw this need for suffering and resistance to heal in many people around me. The pain or suffering gives them a purpose to live. To the outside world they’ll say they want freedom from that pain but internally they’ll find reasons why they can’t come out. Till now I thought I was open to healing and I’m not in this bracket. 

But today I’m face to face with the truth that I’m no different. I may have come out of many tragedies and sufferings in life. But all that was to prove to myself and the world that I’m strong and capable whereas inside me I feel the opposite. 

Some days back I had written about my choice to love my partner irrespective of he moving away. And I was proud of myself. But today I’m realising that all that was a lie and just a feel good factor. Within me, I want to suffer in the pain of being unloved inspite of loving him. And I saw that I’m thriving in this suffering blaming him in my mind and feeling like a victim. But outward I’m telling myself “See I’m so powerfully handling myself and still loving him”. So many lies I’ve been feeding myself with that I never saw the truth that I actually am angry on him and no love left. 

Yes, I’m seeing that I’m just protecting my image of love to myself and others. Today, I’m dropping my facade and accepting my feeling of anger and victim hood just the way it is. Nothing right or wrong about it. 

I’m feeling free as I’m writing this. It took a lot of courage for me to put this in this blog opening my ugly side to the people I know. Thank you for reading.